#I mean. I Can. but I told myself I wouldn't

[headdinthewall]

BLAST FROM THE PAST ──  g.clarke  ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

summary : where you and george, your best friend and major crush, are paired up together for an INSIDE challenge a/n : second part to this ‘series’ !! when i’ve finished it to my liking, i’ll put them all into my master list in chronological order according to the show but for now you can just read them as stand alones xx content : flirty friends (to lovers) , mentions of reader being an ex-dancer , one mention of bodily insecurity (vague) , innuendos

─────── VIKKSTAR AND SPECS stood before all of the insiders, holding cards that would be revealed to be their challenge of the day. You were — to absolutely no one’s surprise — cuddled up next to George. It was practically a second nature at this point due to the constant air of subtle hostility and the eager desperation to win this money that lingered around the set.

“Two of these cards are duet acts, in which two people will be required to perform them.” Vikk explained, making sure to look at everyone, but his eyes lingered on you for a split second longer. “We'll start from the left, go round to the right, and you can pick a card from either the lovely Specs, or myself."

Mya stood, clutching the horny beast in her arms and took a card from Specs, reading it out to be "Ballroom dancing for two people."

Jason got playing the kazoo, Whitney had to give a perfect dap up, PK ended up being Mya's dancing partner, Farah got spoken word, Milli had animal noises, Cinna with impressions and DDG got breakdancing.

"Y/N, please come and retrieve one of the remaining cards." Vikk told you.

"Well now I already now whatever's left is gonna be the second duo act, because no one else has it." You scoffed out a laugh, standing up anyway.

"You're smart, y'know, 'coz I wouldn't have connected that." Specs said, handing you his card.

You snorted with a shake of your head and flipped it, frowning, "Blast from the past? What does that mean?"

Vikk didn't reply, handing out his card, "Mr George Clarkey, please come and take this."

George did as Vikk said and then you both walked back to the sofa and sat down, remaining none-the-wiser.

"Y/N . . ." Vikk paused for tension, "You used to be a dancer. Competitive."

"Yeah? But Mya and PK are already—“

"Shush!" Specs shouted, making you fake offence and everyone laughed.

"What is your most viewed competitive dance on YouTube?" Vikk asked, a smug smile on his faced as he watched your expressions change into one of intense thought.

Then, it dawned on you, "Oh my fucking God!" You cackled.

"What is it?" Mya turned to look at you.

"It's an old duet I did when I was 16 with my duet partner and it got 1st with a perfect 300." You explained, fiddling with the card and staring at the two hosts, "You can't expect me to remember that whole routine and teach it to George!"

"No, of course not, we're not that horrid."

"Could've fooled me, look at the set up.” George joked and everyone laughed.

"All you have to do is three partner work moves from that routine." Vikk clarified.

"And y'know, you're technically going against Mya and PK so maybe that'll stroke your competitive side." Specs attempted to stir a rivalry in the challenge.

"I don't want anything of mine to be stroked." You quipped, causing George to throw his head back in laughter.

"Wait, this ain't fair!" PK exclaimed, "She used to do this for fun and was actually good at it!"

Your response was quick, "Oh my God, cry about it!"

It was obviously sarcastic, and caused a few chuckles.

After everyone grew comfortable with their challenges, you all dispersed into different areas of the set. You and George took the gym, opting for the smart idea of using the only room with padded flooring.

"Right, this is all down to you, because I don't know the techniques for the moves but I remember what they looked like." George admitted, holding his hands up.

He watched it?

"You watched it?" You gazed up at him with a soft smile.

"Yeah, 'course. Why wouldn't I?" He nodded sincerely, pulling his hoodie over his head.

Your eyes trailed down to the slip of skin that was revealed by the uplift of his white t-shirt, and you subtly bit your lip. You couldn't believe that George actually watched your old dance videos, and knew exactly which routine you were doing.

You'd posted many of your old dance routines, including multiple of your duets, so the fact that he knew what your most viewed video was and what parts of the routine looked like.

"See something you like?" George smirked, noticing your teeth tugging on your lower lip and your zoned out expression as your eyes remained trained on his lower stomach.

"What?" You snapped out of it, blinking and returning your eyes to his face, "No— No, sorry." Your face heated up and you internally cursed, worried that your cheeks would be flushed, "Just . . . trying to remember the moves."

"You're telling me that you're not completely in love with this sexy sight." George taunted, gesturing to his torso.

"Oh, shut up." You scoffed, slapping his chest and moving to be more central to the room.

You tried to picture the routine in your head, remembering the moments on stage from eight years ago. Surprisingly, it all flooded back to you and you marked the routine in the small amount of space.

"Okay, so—“

You went about explaining the first move to him, telling him how he had to hold your hands, launch you off the ground so that you could straddle leap across his back before propelling around so that you were chest to chest.

"And then when my legs are around your waist, I'll tip my head back so that my head's upside down."

George nodded, "Okay, so where do you want my hands when you do that. Am I still holding yours and just keeping the rest of your body upright? 'Coz I don't know, if from a physics stand point, does it make more sense for my hands to be on your hips so I can support your upper body and not just your arms?"

"Mmmm . . ." You thought about it, trying to imagine how it would play out, and then you pictured his large hands gripping your waist and you had to squeeze your eyes shut to refresh. "We can try it and see how it would go."

Just as you got to your knees, on the floor so that he could pick you up off of it, you felt a slight tug of insecurity weigh on your heart.

"Oh, by the way, I'm heavier than I used to be when I did this on stage, so . . . yeah."

George shook his head, "I don't care. I've literally carried you home drunk before."

"Yeah, but now it's about weight distri—"

"Y/N." George said firmly, "I'm strong, I can hold you. I picked up Max and sat him on my shoulder, for Gods sake."

You giggled at the memory of seeing that TikTok and nodded, getting into your starting position.

You performed the move twice, in which he changed the positioning of his hands to see which one worked better. It ended up being the first one where he stayed holding your hands.

You suppressed a sigh of disappointment that you wouldn't get to feel George's hands on your waist, but then reminded yourself that a lack of physical touch is better than a broken neck and paralysis.

Besides, you still had two more moves to teach him.

By the time you were done and confident enough, Vikk and Specs were hollering for everyone to come back into the 'living room'.

All of the Insiders congregated yet again, sitting on the sofa and waiting for the hosts to announce the first act.

It was Mya and PK, in which they performed a very basic ballroom dance (if you could even call it that), but finished it off with a nice — not technically accurate at all — spinning embrace and her sliding between his legs.

Everyone clapped as Mya giggled, and PK puffed his chest out with pride.

Vikk grinned from his place at the judges table, "I'm impressed with that. I'm gonna give it a nine. What do you think?"

"Nine as well." Specs agreed. "Nine."

Everyone cheered and clapped for them

"I want Y/N and George next, put the two dancing acts against each other." Specs hummed.

"Which makes no difference at all because we're all going against each other." George pointed out the obvious and got a mocking glare in response.

"I also want Y/N and George to show us their moves now." Vikk said, gesturing for you two to take the floor.

You huffed and stood up, shuffling over to the open area and getting into the first starting position — which was your knees.

"Woah." Jason laughed, "Guys, it's a competitive dance, not a strip dance."

"Erm, actually, I was sixteen when I first did this dance, so don't sexualise me please." You put on a fake nerd voice and held one finger up.

Jason snorted, his shoulders shaking in amusement.

"Ready?" George asked and you nodded.

He held his hands out, planting his feet firmly into the ground as you took his hands, and he used his upper body strength to lift you up and around his back. You had your legs out in a straddle leap as you rounded his back and when you were chest-to-chest, your legs locked around his waist and he dipped you back.

George lifted you back upright, arms firmly encasing your waist as he lowered you to your feet.

Your friends cheered and whooped, clapping.

"Move number two, please." Vikk requested, a large grin on his face.

"Move two and three are kinda combined." You told him, "'Coz in actual dance they're too separate moves but my dance teacher turned it into a combo."

"Do we allow that?" Vikk conferred with his partner.

Specs replied with, "I'll see how impressed I am."

You rolled your eyes dramatically and stood slightly in front of George.

"Whenever your ready, babe." He murmured.

Woah.

That threw you off slightly.

But you didn't let it distract you.

You sighed before bending backwards, sliding your head and shoulder blades between his legs. You swung your legs upwards and clenched your thighs against the sides of his ribs as his hands gripped the front of your thighs before quickly switching to your chest (his fingers accidentally grazed the underside of your boobs, but you didn't say anything) as your smooth motion put you upright again.

"Yo, George we saw that!" PK cackled, clapping loudly.

"Oh, shut up." George huffed.

He delicately placed you on your feet, and you tapped his hand, telling him to go into the next one. His hands held your waist as he lifted you onto his shoulder — just like he did with Max.

You wobbled slightly.

"Sorry!" He exclaimed, hands gripping your thighs.

You laughed and tapped his head.

"You going back?"

"Yeah, please don't drop me this time." You snorted.

"George, you dropped her?!" Milli gasped.

"It was an accident!" He defended himself, "Right, shush, so I don't do it again."

His fingers dug into the skin of your thighs, really keeping his grip tight as opposed to the practise you had in the gym.

You bit your lip in concentration before lying backwards, your back against except you were upside down. Your arms locked around his waist, hands clasping at his stomach, and your legs — graceful and straight — came floating down in a scissor-shape.

You landed on your right foot and decided to throw in a penche just for good luck, leaning on George's shoulder.

"Okay, now you're just showing off!" Farah laughed, but clapped regardless, along with everyone else.

Specs even stood up for a round of applause.

"Oh my God, Simon Cowell, I didn't even recognise you." You joked.

"That's a straight ten, that's insanity. Eleven, even. Give them an eleven."

"It was very impressive." Vikk nodded.

"Thanks." You grinned, giving George a high-five as he slung an arm around your shoulders.

You returned to your places on the leather sofa, tucked under his arm and pleased that you hadn't come out of that challenge with an injury.

All the acts eventually went by, and as Vikk and Specs revealed the final scores, you and George exchanged a smug expressions, knowing you had it in the bag.

"And with a score of eleven points—"

"Extortionate, the boundary was a ten." PK spoke up, kissing his teeth jokingly.

"Yeah, extortionate, just like the price of things in the shop." You quipped.

"Y/N and George, you have won todays challenge! And have also been granted with a token for the shop each!" Vikk pulled out two purple circles with black texts printed on them.

You grinned and stood, taking George's hand in your own as you skipped to receive your prize.

You took your tokens with a little 'yay!', making George laugh.

"Round of applause for our winners!" Specs announced, and everyone did as he said, Jason even put his fingers in his mouth to whistle loudly.

"Yeah!" Cinna shouted, pumping her fist in the air.

You hugged George and he lifted you off the ground.

It didn't matter that the challenge was basically meaningless and it wasn't that much of a riveting moment. All that mattered was that you had an excuse to remain in George's arms for as long as you want, and he didn't seem particularly willing to let you go any time soon, either.

[memerabilia]

THE BEEKEEPER'S PICNIC-a sherlockian adventure | afoot games

adjust as necessary | SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

You're not hurt, [name]? For God's sake, say that you are not hurt!

If he had killed you, I would not have let him get out of this room alive.

[Name], I do wish you would stop that. Ruminating over my injury. You must stop worrying.

We could go back to [place], you know. For a holiday. I imagine it is rather nice when one is not fleeing for one's life.

[Name]? Is it possible that you are slightly bored?

It is my practice to keep my unread correspondence firmly secured to my mantelpiece with a jackknife.

Books do make a place feel like home, don't they?

I suppose you hope it will reply back to me, perhaps engage in a light musical number? We are not in a fairy tale, you know.

Ah, my loyal beakers, my beloved Bunsen burner, my most excellent test tubes.

You are quite certain you require nothing of me?

I value your companionship, but beyond that, no special measures are needed.

[Name], you are brooding again.

I am touched that you are so affected—deeply touched, but I hate to see you keep berating yourself.

Of course I will come with you if you need me. If you ask me to join you, I will.

No, I cannot ask that of you.

You are loyal and true to a fault my dear, dear [Name], and I am certain that you would give up your passion to join me in mine.

It seems that we are being drawn along different paths, then.

They were wonderful years, weren't they? I loved every moment.

[Name], they were glorious years. We were glorious.

You won't vanish on me, will you, [name]? You won't simply disappear without telling me you are going? I could not bear that.

Oh, I remain as wiry as ever under the knitwear, I assure you.

There is a legend which states that if you tell your deepest secrets to an instrument, it will share it with others when you play.

I feel it does a man no harm to look at his death every once in a while.

Death is a mingling of eternity with time. In the death of a good man, eternity is seen looking through tine.

Although acoustically it is a Platonian shadow of music, I must say that I enjoy putting on a record in the evenings and enjoying a concert in the comfort of my own home.

I think it may be a fundamental law of the universe that a cat cannot be used.

I decided to challenge myself to paint a small painting, one each day throughout a month. I only completed eight before I became distracted by another project.

Pah, arthritis! Are you entirely sure I have arthritis?

Sorry for having to say 'honk, honk'. I used to have a little horn but I've lost it, so now I just say 'honk, honk' in a cheerful sort of way. Honk, honk!

I was always told redheads should not wear red, so I try to do so as often as possible.

It means a lot to a child when an adult takes them seriously, I think.

It's a great pleasure to meet a fellow appreciator of bees.

And dare I say it, I am happier here.

If you wear a monocle, people assume you must be somebody important.

Who knows what these hands may one day accomplish? The discoveries they may make, the wounds they may heal.

Mmmmm. I don't know. I still think you may be magic.

Then... may I choose you to be in my family?

I'm afraid you made several elementary errors in your scheme.

In the future you may want to add a slight amount of blue dye to your fake blood, and perhaps cornflour to make it more viscous.

Hmmm. When did I begin to look so avuncular?

What an odd creature you are, [name].

I have always been an odd looking fellow, and I cannot say age has improved the situation.

I find it prudent not to ask.

I'm a door-to-door fact deliverer! Did you know that newts can grow back their limbs if they are chopped off?

The nutria is my absolute favourite large herbivorous semiaquatic South American rodent!

I say, that's ballsy clever of you!

I suppose if I were to say that it is for some amateur dramatics, you wouldn't believe it?

I think it is for mischief.

We bring moments of joy and escape into the lives of our readers. What could be more important?

I feel I have seen too much war and death. It is about time I took up my ease.

That is your greatest gift, my dear fellow. It always was.

To new beginnings. To sublime joy. To the tenacity of hope.

It was all for naught. I have lost him again.

There is hope yet. Yes, there is hope yet.

You put a great deal of effort into staging your murder, and I was not appreciative.

Sometimes I feel it is almost like we share a soul, you and I. Even when we are apart, I feel there are threads pulling us together again.

I think I've always been in love with you, [name]. That's the rub of it. I simply felt you should know.

I can only hope that the regard you have for me and the memories of our association are not tarnished by this.

Why have you taken me on as a burden when I have mistreated you so?

Sometimes the things we find most difficult about a person are also aspects of the things we love most about them.

No, [name], you are fallible. Thank heavens for that.

[Name], you are trembling. Whatever are you afraid of?

I am afraid I will treat you badly, we will quarrel terribly, and then I will lose you again.

Of course we will quarrel. You think two caring people whose lives are caught up together never get thoroughly sick of each other? When we do, we shall see it through together.

I think there will be no more partings, except the one brought on by Death himself, and I think even he may have a hard time of it.

I also feel that I should observe the ancient customs that bees should be informed of significant events in the life of their keeper.

[kittwix]

could you do the joestars proposing to there s/o after they nearly lose them in a fight

Joestars Proposing To S/O After Nearly Losing Them In A Fight

why does this literally sound like something that would actually happen omg. this was really cute to write!! please enjoy and thank you for the request :)

tags: sfw, very sweet, mentions of death, reader is a hamon/stand user in respective parts, gender neutral! reader

Jonathan Joestar

He'd kneel beside you, his gloved hand trembling as he cradles yours. His face, bruised up with dry blood staining his chiseled cheek and his eyes were warm like the sun setting on your skin. He looked at you like you were the most precious thing in the world.

"When I saw you lying there, I felt like my entire world was slipping away. I realized then, there's not future I want unless you're in it. Please," The grip he had on your hand tightened and his voice shook a bit. "let me spend the rest of my life proving how much I love you. Will you marry me?"

Joseph Joestar

He'd hold your bruised face in his hands, eyes glassy despite him having his usual cocky grin. It was rare to see him look so broken and vulnerable, even in those dire times he always manage to have a smile for you to look up to.

"You scared the hell outta me, y'know that? I thought I was gonna lose you forever." He chuckled weakly, gently patting at your cheeks. "Okay, I'm just gonna cut right through the chase. So, whaddya say? Let's beat death to the punch." He said, trailing one of his hands down to grab ahold of yours. "Marry me before the next lunatic comes to steal you away from me."

Jotaro Kujo

You two were alone in the hospital as you were bedridden and were recovering from your injuries. He hasn't left your side for days and honestly, it's flustered you to see that he cares this much. So it came to a shock to you when he drops the big question as he stands awkwardly and pulls a small box out.

"I'm not good at this kind of thing. But when I thought you might die... I couldn't breathe. I don't ever want to feel that again. So... will you marry me?"

Josuke Higashikata

He had barely managed to treat your wounds with Crazy Diamond after your big battle. It was pouring, he dropped to his knees in the mud and clutched your hand. You couldn't bare to see the pained look on his face as his voice trembles.

"You can't scare me like that again. I-.. I thought I was gonna lose you. I love you more than anything. I want to be able to protect you and be there for you for the rest of our lives. Will... you be mine forever?"

Giorno Giovanna

He was relieved that he had patched you back up in time. He refused to let you die by his hands. He sat beside you, bloodied and weary, his golden hair matted with sweat and his gaze was soft. His touches were gentle and light. He spoke to you, his voice dripping with honey and you could hear it forever.

"I've seen too much death to ignore what truly matters. I will build a world where you are safe, by my side. Will you marry me, and help me make that dream real?"

Jolyne Cujoh

She holds you tightly, like if she lets go, you'll disappear. Her hair was messy, uniform torn, and dried blood on her knuckles.

"You idiot," She says softly, her voice cracking a bit. "You almost died trying to protect me, I told you I can handle myself." She'd wipe her tears roughly, not wanting to cry in front of you but she couldn't help it. "You mean so much to me, If I lost you I wouldn't know what to do. I'm not really good with this stuff but I love you. So screw it, marry me and let's fight for each other each day.

Johnny Joestar

He'd grip your hand tightly, tears mixing in with the dirt that was on his face. He couldn't forgive himself. You were still alive, yes, but you jumped in trying to save him only for that to backfire in your place.

"It was my fault for making you act so stupid like that. Seeing you like that, it just made me realize that you're the reason I've come this far." His voice was shaky as he tightened the grip he had with your hand. "I don't ever want to lose you again because of me, and I don't ever plan to take another step unless you're right by my side. Marry me?"

Josuke Higashikata (Gappy)

He stood beside you as you laid down on the hospital bed still recovering. He looked down like you were the most precious and fragile thing in the world. His eyes were filled with guilt and sorrow, glassy from wanting to cry.

"You really scared me. If I lost you it would've felt like I lost myself. You're the one thing that made all of me feel real. I just know I want to be with you. So..." He pulled a small box out. "Would you marry me?"

Jodio Joestar

He'd stand over your bruised body, hands in his pockets and a little pout on his face. Even near death, he keeps his demeanor cool but you could see him visibly start to shake when he finally looks down at you.

"You seriously trying to be the superhero? You're such a dummy, you almost died right in front of me, how do you think that would make me feel? I want... you to be with me always. I can't afford to lose you, not like that ever again. Just... promise me that you'll stay with me forever."

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Babes, I have a request, so hear me out 😌

(Only if you’re comfortable with that stuff ofc😭)

2006 (Braxl) or current Axl and reader having dinner with reader’s parents (reader is younger than Axl ig)

And reader is like “daddy, can you pass me the salt please?” And she meant her father, but both Axl and her father react

(Idk this is kinda cringe and cliche but whatever 😜)

A/n: Last fic for this week, kinda proud of myself for doing it, also I REALLY REALLY WANTED TO WRITE THIS IDC THAT IT'S CLICHE AND CRINGE I NEEDED IT

Warnings: None really, there's kissing and stuff but nothing more, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

Axl watched as you did your makeup in the bathroom, a tiredness in his eyes, his shoulders slumped slightly. "They're not gonna like me." He grumbled, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "Does it have to be black tie?"

You came from a very different life than Axl did. Your parents were rich, they got you the best education they could, loved and supported you through everything giving you the freedom to be who you were without the confines of money to hold you back. "They're going to love you, you're the kind of man they wanted me to be with." You assured, pecking his cheek before going back to work on your appearance.

When Axl met you he just thought you were drop dead gorgeous, he also thought you were way too young for him and would just find him creepy if he started talking to you, but that sparkle in your eyes told a different story. When he was younger he had nothing but abusive parents, people always gave him handouts and when he started making money off of Guns he paid for everything for everyone, meals, gas, whatever it was he was paying, because he wanted to do what everyone had done for him.

"And yes, it does have to be black tie, it's a nice restaurant, you like nice restaurants." You mused, Axl just shook his head and wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. After paying for everything for everything he started to wonder if people liked him for him or his money, it got to him. You already had money, you'd get nothing for being with him other than a name for dating older men. You weren't a gold digger, you already had gold, you weren't using him for fame, you had your quiet life as an artist.

"I'll dress nice, but I don't have a suit." He mumbled, walking out of the bathroom back to your shared room.

You watched him go. "Really? Not one?" You called after him, trying to recount a time you'd seen him wear a real, proper suit.

"Not a one, sweetheart." He called back, already heading into the walk-in closet. You let out a heavy sigh but couldn't help the smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

You finished getting ready, making sure you looked nice and proper in your red dress. It was long and shaped your figure while being loose, draping over your curves with a short slit up the side. Axl came out of the closet in blue jeans, a red button up and a black suit jacket, Ostridge skin cowboy boots to pull it together. It could be worse, he still had his assless chaps from the eighties hanging in there.

"You look gorgeous, love." He purred, nearing you with a fur coat, draping it over your shoulders and pulling you for a kiss. It was supposed to be sweet and quick but you found yourself chasing his lips for more, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him back down for more. Axl took the hint and guided you towards your shared bed, taking a seat on the edge and lifting the skirt of your dress up so you could sit in his lap, finger tips faintly gliding up your thighs, ghosting over your skin. "Maybe we could just stay here, huh? Wouldn't that be better?" He asked, shrugging his jacket off and draping his arms around your waist.

"No, we have to go." You said, the words lost their meaning as they were mumbled against his lips. "We have to leave soon or we'll be late." You made no move to get off his lap, letting Axl deepen the kiss by slipping his tongue past your glossy lips which seemed to get your head straight and you pulled away. "We have to go." You stated firmly, getting off his lap and fixing yourself up while he laughed.

Axl stood up and fixed your dress for you, pulling it down as far as it would go and then coming back to pull it up, not missing the opportunity to grope your tits and make you giggle.

You spent the ride there fixing your makeup, Axl bobbed his head along to the music, singing along to Queen and Aerosmith as they came on. You hugged Axl's arm to your chest, heading into the fancy restaurant looking like man and wife, which you weren't yet but you wanted to be.

A hostess led you to your table where your parents already were. "I told you we'd be late." You mumbled, leaning up to Axl so only he'd hear. He just shook his head and smiled at your parents, pulling your seat back for you.

Things started off a little awkward, Axl was sure your parents would hate him and already prepared for that so their politeness was treated... oddly, but with a short explanation things settled down.

Your dad asked about Axl's financial situation, he was in a rock band but how was he really doing? "That doesn't mean anything, you can look and act rich however you want, it doesn't make you rich, this could be a front for something we'll never even know of." He rambled, cutting up his food. You blew on your pasta nervously.

Axl reach over under the table and squeezed your thigh reassuringly. "I have money, I don't waste it on booze or drugs... I-I like throwing parties, but that's not a crime, is it?" He asked with a chuckle. Your parents were courteous enough to laugh along.

Your parents didn't need to love him, you just wanted them to like him, to approve of your relationship because Axl was a good man and he treated you right, even if they didn't see it.

Axl was telling a story, which was good because those could drag on for hours and he was a good storyteller, as long as he was going off about something they couldn't ask about his wages or tours, groupies or some other twisted horror. However, you'd heard this story before. Your parents seemed intrigued but you just stared down at your food, trying to remember how it ended. It finally hit you; Slash got drunk, Axl carried him to bed, and the man pissed himself -Axl had to hide it from the woman he was with.

"Daddy, can you pass me the salt?" You asked abruptly, cutting Axl off.

"Of course, sweetheart." Axl said, already reaching for the salt. He didn't realize his mistake until his hand collided with your fathers. He looked up and saw all eyes on him, your father looking ready to kill him, your mother shocked beyond her years, and you... Your face was redder than a tomato and your eyes bugged, jaw slack.

You blinked slowly, Axl pulled his hand back and looked back to your dad. "Sorry, I thought my hand was closer so I just went..." His voice faded out the longer he spoke.

Your father handed you the salt and you shook it over your pasta before setting it back down. "I think we're done here." Your dad said with a heavy sigh, pushing his chair back.

"Wait, daddy-"

"Are you talking to me or the man ten years younger than me and forty years older than you?" He demanded. You stammered for a response. He looked to your mother. "We're leaving." She didn't argue, also wanting out of this atmosphere now.

Axl leaned over to you. "Do we get the bill, or..?" He asked, reaching into his pocket.

"No, daddy, you can't just leave- daddy!" You stood up, getting his attention. "I love him, daddy, you can't change that, just be happy he loves me back!" Your table was near the back and it wasn't a very busy night but still some heads turned. "Can't you just do that?"

He looked to you, then Axl, then back to you. He was quiet for a long several moments before finally speaking up. "If he truly does make you happy, and he really does love you... I guess I can't get mad at the life he lived before you."

After some more talking and paying the bill you got back in the car with Axl, who let out a heavy sigh before looking to you. You stared back at him, brows furrowed and eyes wide. "You reached for the salt." You muttered.

Axl snickered. "I-I swear, ok, it was closer-"

"You reached for the salt!" You hit him in the shoulder with your small bag while his giggles grew to a belly laugh. You slept with your back turned to him and didn't speak to him until he brought you ice cream.

[mosspapi]

My appointment with my doctor is on Friday but apparently my mother is making us go to ikea on Wednesday. I'm still laying in bed basically all day from last Friday. How does she expect me to go to ikea while I feel like this AND be able to have a coherent conversation with my doctor on Friday. I'm gonna lose it

[sodaneko]

LALECHINGO!! ; a birthday event

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ it’s bingo! and also a raffle.

let’s party!! one thing about me is that is love a little event and since it’s my birthday month i felt like hosting one :3c

so: raffle time! but you gotta play some bingo first before you can participate. lemme give you a rundown on how it works.

what's the prize?

✰ a total of three 1k (or longer) fics from me! i don’t take requests so this is a rare chance to see something specific written by me ✰ the 3 winners will receive a wishlist form from me in which they can go wild ✰ haikyuu x reader only! gender of reader is for the winners to decide, i’ll write for all of them. ✰ not limited to sfw only (that being said: mdni)

details & rules (it looks like a lot, but i promise it's easy)

✰ to participate in the raffle, you gotta fill out the bingo cards! there’s ten of them in total at the end of this post. some are writing prompts, some are for reading, some to spread some kindness. you can grab and combine any that catch your interest.

✰ 1 bingo equals 1 point. if you manage to fill out an entire card, you’ll get 10 points, so 10x your name in the draw pot for the raffle. this means you can get up to 100 points in total if you fill out all ten cards completely.

✰ it’s not first come, first serve! you got two weeks to have fun with your bingo cards.

✰ this event is mostly about making fandom a little better for everyone, whether you’re a writer or a reader, no matter how you participate in it. this means you don’t have to show me proofs how you got these bingos. putting my trust in you that you won’t cheat <3

✰ since the prizes are gonna be fics by me, i would feel better knowing you actually like my works enough to follow me. however, it’s not a must to be a follower to participate. again, it’s more about fandom than me.

✰ writers picking up the writing prompts: it up to you how you use them! can be drabbles or headcanons, small fics, big fics, moodboards, not limited to haikyuu only. really whatever sparks your inspiration. you don’t even have to publish it or tag me in it (though i’d love to see ofc hehe), this is for YOU and your inspiration.

✰ do NOT bring any ai into this. i'll rip you to shreds

✰ once you’re finished, either reblog this post with your bingo cards or send me an ask with them (i won’t publish them, just for me to keep track)

✰ i’ll draw & announce the three winners on Jan 27th and will contact them through dms for their wishlist :3

card 1-6 ; for the writers

card 7 & 8 ; for the readers

card 9 & 10 ; for the kindness

that's all! have fun ♡ - Lale

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[bloodsbane]

was responsible and did the things i must do to change my current health insurance (UHC eek!), headpats pls

[bigthingsforeverintheworks]

socializing is so hard I'm like "yeah i finally got my depression done with forever (for real this time" and then I am in an environment with people and it's like "fuck how do I act i don't have the knowledge of the things should I be listening should I be looking I mean how do like verbal conversations work like they're clearly not oriented towards a goal in the same way emails are but they also just like don't have the same sort of "just kinda say things" that the internet has ok that's not fair I have held conversations, even if the initiation differs which is a big part of it but there is something different obviously like the expectation of latency & just basic woah you can't see them bit but also like it feels less direct. Oh and then now you have to deal with timing like 100x as often idk i think at the third time it's just time to give up. Though ok I mean I'm not incapable of verbal speech I can give answers in english class also why is my head burning and i mean i don't think my hands should be there do people care about that also i can't fathom the depravity of how i look"

[elytrafemme]

the unintended byproduct of having the finch app where the cute bird helps you do self care is that after you open the app she will send you little notifications throughout the day being like hiiii my day is great how are you doing which is great i guess generally but right now i'm like. back in the throes of cptsd issues and also crying over a doctor's appointment so i don't really care how your day is going lychee. and then i feel guilty because lychee the bird has only ever loved me but like i don't. care. right now.

[outlying-hyppocrate]

seriously considering telling my therapist the One Thing i have only ever told one person in my life ever. but it doesn't feel real because nobody's actually worried and also it hasn't affected me physically or mentally in a somewhat debilitating way yet so. {:

[the-casbah-way]

i just think it's so unfair that when i left high school my entire support system was gone overnight and i was just expected to get on with it with no help and because i wasn't diagnosed back then no one believed me or accommodated for me or cared, so i had to postpone my degree for two years and watch all my friends graduate without me and move to different cities and i went from being a straight a student who never had to study in their life to barely scraping the minimum grades and never showing up to class because i had convinced myself i was too stupid and slow to ever get my degree because i wasn't getting any of the support i kept asking for and was expected to read and listen to lectures without any help and keep up with everyone else when none of my support needs were being met. and now after trying for five years to find a way to get the degree i always wanted my uni have told me they're not going to let me do it anymore because of one module requirement that i missed because i was in hospital against my own choice. and even after i said i would use the entirety of my savings which i specifically worked for so that i could have a safety net for my studies to pay for the extra year required to get the module they need they've still said no. even though there's a bunch of spare places on the course and it wouldn't impact my timetable at all. even though i got As in every assignment i did for that course compared the the Bs and Cs i used to get in every other subject. even when i told them that i can't keep doing a science based humanities subject because i have dyscalculia and it's literally impossible for me to get through a single sentence of reading on my own, compared to the module i want to do where my lecturer literally bought me extra course textbooks with his own money because i finished everything else on the reading list in my own time and he said he was impressed with the work i sent him. i told them that me and my brother are the first in my family to go to uni, and how neither of my parents finished school or have any qualifications, and i never though in a million years i would ever get to have a degree and i've had everything stacked against me because their uni is 99% rich able bodied neurotypicals and i'm so close to graduating even though i had no support at all for the first four years. and they still don't care. they can't even give me a reason as to why they won't let me get the degree i want. they just keep saying 'we're not in a position to let you do the extra module' over and over again and i don't even understand what they mean. i'm going to pay for it myself. they have spare spaces on the course. i don't understand what else i can do to make them listen. they talk so much about diversity and accessibility yet every other poor and disabled person i talk to (and there's barely fucking any at this uni because they don't want us to be there) has been through similar experiences and had opportunities taken away from them because they were too unwell to attend one single fucking class. i don't know what to do but i've been here way too long and tried way too hard to drop out now. but i also can't bear to not to the degree i've always dreamed of. i don't want to do anything else

[lovecrafts-iranon]

I wanted to have my opinions about writing mean something. They only would if I were a good writer. The biggest controversial one being that the whole "characters talk to me and take over the plot haha if I start writing with a plan the characters never stick to it" thing is soooooo stupid and annoying. But that's meaningless coming from me.

[minzapinza]

i like translation and i like doing translations but this one translation class I'm required to take feels like being set in a pillory and people are throwing tomatoes at me

[light-wrath-paradise]

Btwww I might have. A disorder. I will not specify. But it is a new one. One I don't have yet. It is not known yet.

Like it's probably nothing I mean just forget about it it's totally fine and probably nothing and I'm just being hysterical and I managed to subconsciously manipulate my doctors aha. Like don't worry about it I'm sure this is just a hell of my own making and if I really wanted it to stop I could totally just stop it. So don't even worry about it.

The fact that the only people who fully relate to me and whom I relate to are people with said disorder just means that I subconsciously manipulated them into relating to me. Somehow.